Healing begins...

We are seeing a better side of J these days. He seems to be less frustrated and more happy about the situation he is in. The anger is slowly leaving and bringing some of the old back to life. :) I am so glad and it just eases my mind that much more.

I am also working on bettering myself. I signed up for "LA Boxing" which is a cardio kickboxing gym. Hopefully I can get in there 3 to 5 times a week for my 1 hour workout. I am also going to "detox" as well. I chatted with a doctor and I need to lose about 12 lbs. I can handle 12 lbs, I thought for sure he was going to tell me 25 or 30! Whew!!

At this point, I am just ready for 2009 to get here.

Recovering

We are all recovering from J's surgery, not just him. The surgery was 11 long hours (painfully long!), but it was a sucess. In fact, I would call it more of a miracle, the doctor and his partners are shocked at what a difference he was able to make this time around. Especially since it is the 4th time his back has been operated on. We are so blessed and I truly believe that God had everything to do with it. So now more of the difficult, we wait and try to be patient as J works on healing and takes himself off of the medications he is addicted to. Some of his mood swings can be unbearable, but we're hopeful that he can pull through this. I am hopeful that the man I fell in love with will come shining through and we can fall in love all over again.

It's not just his back that needs to recover, so does our marriage.

A new leaf..

It's time to turn over a new leaf. I have been negative about all the bad things lately and I am tired of it. So, screw it. Everyone deals with crap right, some worse than others, but it still sucks regardless. So I am changing my outlook. Life is good, I have amazing friends that care so much for me and my family. And of course, my family loves me and I am grateful that I am healthy and I can provide for them. My sons are great, obnoxious, but great and so is my daughter. She is a spitfire! I love it. :) She is such a cutie, how can you not be happy with that.
The surgery is Monday, and although scary. God will get us through this, and it should mean better things for J. Once he gets through this he will be in a better place. That means much better times for all of us. We all like a Daddy who feels better and then we can all have fun. So wish me luck, being down is just getting old.

Well crap...

Well it has been forever since my last post, but believe it or not I am still alive! :) Unfortunately J did not heal the way he should have at all. So in a few short weeks (November 17th) J will go into a 4th surgery on his back. I am not sure how I feel, some days I am sad, most days I am scared to death and yet there are some days when I am completely numb and feel like I have no emotion about it at all. Things are just so difficult right now, the economy sucks, and of course, my car picks now to break. Of course, now that I pretty much have no money to fix it, is the time that this car chooses to need a major repair. Uggghhhh..

I am trying to be happy though, I have my family. I have a great job, well 2 in fact and we are surviving. I can make my house payment and buy food for my family. There are many things to be grateful for. It just tends to get overshadowed by all the negative. But of course, this to shall pass....

Who has the time?

Based on how long it has been since my last post you can tell I am just swamped! J's back is still not healing the way we had hoped. :( It appears that we may have another surgery to look forward to. Damnit!! I am so not ready for another few months of being a single Mom nursing him back to health while taking care of my kids and continuing to work. Seriously can we just be done?

Meanwhile, my baby turns 2 in less than 1 month! Yikes! She is such a big girl and is so sweet. I miss her as a baby already. Funny how the older you get the quicker they grow. Hopefully we won't get too much attitude this year. Of course, I highly doubt that!

Until next time..

Time change.... bluck!

This time change business is just awful, now while I look forward to longer days. Getting up on a Sunday morning after losing 1 hour of sleep is near torture. Who benefits from this anyhow? I mean, really?? And as if it isn't bad enough, then you throw your kids in to the mix and it is nearly impossible. All three of my kids were just cranky today. Getting up for church was full of wining, crying, moaning and fighting. I am just hoping this time around it doesn't take the 3 weeks to get us back on track. Like I said Bluck....

Ouch!

Let me just say that although exercising is wonderful for you.. it hurts! Yikes!! I bought myself a personal trainer for the new year and I work out with her 2 times a week. I am so happy to be doing something for myself but man she really works me! Every muscle in my body is sore. I hate walking because I feel like I am going to just collapse. I hear it gets better, I hope it does!

On another topic, J is still out of work. We found out that it isn't beneficial for him to even try to look for a job because we will lose the income he is getting now. Nice.. so he is currently doing "chores" assigned to him on a daily basis. If I have to work all day, he better be working as well.

Thanks to all my friends for their love and support. You all know who you are and you all mean the world to me! Thank you!!!

Here we go again...

Wow, just when things were starting to get better. *sigh* J lost his job, they laid him off. Crap, I have faith though. I am sure that there is something out there for us and then he will find a job that he really loves so that he can be happier with who he is and what he does. It is a bit scary, but we are making the budget work and I know that we will be fine. God will take care of us if we have just a bit of faith. And so far faith is something that I have a lot of and I don't plan on losing. ;)